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An Open Letter to My Minivan

Dear MadDog,

I don't know any other way to say this other than to come right out and say it.

I want a separation. I am just feeling a bit smothered. We are together hours and hours a day and frankly, I miss the old days when I had some alone time inside my house. You see, I feel we are just spending way too much time together.

It isn't you. You know it was love at first sight when we met. You were beautiful, clean and big. I could actually ride around with my entire family and the teenagers didn’t have to rest their foreheads on their knees like they did in my tiny Saturn. They have leg room with you! Maybe it is just that the honeymoon phase is over. I don't know.

But I did the math. Do you realize that I am with you an average of six hours a day? SIX HOURS. That is a lot of time in a relationship like ours. Frankly, that is time I really need to be spending at home or working. Until I get mobile WiFi, this just won't do for me.

Yesterday, when I went for a walk, I felt so lost not being with you I actually carried your keys with me. Why? I do not know other than to assume that the relationship has taken over my life. I don't want to be so dependent on you anymore. I know that is how it is for many moms, but I just need some space in this relationship.

I don't want to split up with you. You are so important in my life.

I just think it might be time to separate for a while. Maybe we can try carpools where my kids can see what other vans are like. Or perhaps we can let the kids ride to school with their dad in his car for a while. Maybe I can even be controversial and let the kids walk to school now and then.

Please do not take this personally. You have been good to me. You are good for the family. I just think you have taken over too much time in my life. Do you know that I am labeled a "work-at-home mom?" Yet, I am rarely at home anymore. Perhaps I should be a "work-in-the-van mom," and then I would feel better about our whole relationship.

To ease the blow, I will take you out today and give you one last spoiling. I will get your oil changed, give you a good washing and cleaning, and even try to remove that gum that has been stuck on your floorboard for weeks. Because, I hope you know, I do love you.

I just need a break.

Forever yours (but a little less so for a while),


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