So I’m trying to get in shape and improve my overall health. Hey, I’ve dropped 7 pounds! It hasn’t been easy, as I don’t really like exercising and eating moistened cardboard for breakfast every morning. Still, I don’t want to be the "fat dad." I also don’t want to be diabetic. So off I go.
What bugs me is those fitness jerks who say things like, "There are no excuses for not exercising," and "make the time!" Ok, Cpt. Fitness. I bet you don’t have kids. Or a job. Or a spouse. Let’s look at how I can "make the time."
On Mondays I go to work at 7 A.M. and get back home at 7:15 P.M. Yeah, after a sixteen hour day I really want to run two-and-a-half miles. I know what you’re going to say: Get up early and do it. Alright, I will. Now I have to get up at 5:00 in the freaking morning. If that isn’t punishment for getting fat, I don’t know what is.
Tuesdays: I work from 7:00 A.M. to about 5:30-6:00 P.M. I usually go for a run at 5:30. Not too bad.
Here’s where it gets really fun.
On Wednesdays, the schedule is:
- Up at 7:00 with the kids
- Fed, dressed and out of the house by 8:40 so Grace can go to school.
- Back home by 9:20 with William. If the weather is nice, I’ll put him in the jogger stroller and run him around the neighborhood. I also do my resistance workout in the house on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Have you tried doing push ups or crunches with a 3-year-old in the area? He thinks I want him to climb all over me. Yes, William, that’s exactly what I want. An additional 25 pounds to try and lift off of the ground. Thanks for that.
- 11:40: Back in the car to get Grace from school
- 12:05: The playground for an hour.
- At 1:00 or so we return home and I make lunch for the three of us. The kids get something yummy like mac and cheese with carrot sticks or whatever, and I have my bone dry turkey on whole wheat with lettuce and tomato plus a water. Yum.
- At 1:30 William takes a nap and Grace and I do Play-Doh or whatever until…
- 3:30 when my wife comes home from her gym. Then I go to work until 11 P.M.
Friday is the same as Wednesday, except that William and I go to the library for story hour at 10:00 and then the general store for a snack at 11:00. We sit in front of the wood burner and eat, then hop in the car at 11:30 to get Grace from school. Go back to "12:05" as described above for the rest of the day. So, on Fridays I have to get up at the crack of dawn again to fit in my workout.
Thursdays is a bit different. There’s no school, but there is ballet at 10:15. After that it’s off to yet another playground or whatever activity I can think of if I’m sick of the playground. Pick up at 12:05 above. Again, Thursday features the 5:00 A.M. workout.
So yes, technically I CAN do it. But man, I’m tired. All because I don’t want to be too exhausted to play in the yard anymore. These darn kids better appreciate this.
So, readers, I ask: How do you do it? I see fit and tidy parents at the playground all the time. Something is going on that I'm unaware of. Perhaps I need to read "The Secret."