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Potty Training – a How-To Guide

I’ve successfully potty-trained two little people now and I fancy myself somewhat of an expert on all things body fluids. I’ve been thinking about the secret to my success and whether the world was ready for me to share it, whether I was ready to share the most important parenting information I’ve learned to date.

I know I could sell a book with this information and make a pretty penny or two but I love you all too much to hold out. Here for free on, I will give you the sum of all my potty wisdom. I hope you cherish it in that special place in your heart.

Here goes:

WAIT UNTIL THEY’RE READY! For real. Don’t start training them when you’re ready or when you think they should be ready. Wait until they’re actually ready ... and I don’t care if this takes until they’re 25 years old. Your life will be better. Your carpets will be cleaner and your kids will have far fewer issues to talk about in therapy, thus simultaneously saving them thousands of dollars on shrink fees and causing them to miss out on the millions they’d make for their book deal about how their parents ruined their lives.

Seriously. Wait. It is so much better this way.


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