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Proof That I Am the Best Mom Ever

I agreed that it was warm enough outside to go swimming on the back deck. I only had to spike the inflatable pool with six or seven pitchers of scalding water to make the experience bearable.

Warming up

Today I found Magoo dipping his jellybeans in the toilet before eating them.

I sanitized him, refilled his hand with fresh beans, and I even plan on kissing him again someday.

At least one meal this week, I convinced them to eat Not-Dino-Chicken-Nuggets.

When Magoo held up a picture or a story or a piece of dirt for the one hundredth time today and yelled, "Oh. MOM. WOOK!!!!" I wooked.

I bought new shoes for both kids at the same time, even though I had strictly forbidden them from outgrowing their shoes simultaneously. I'm considering inventing a convertible sport-sandal/running shoe/dress shoe/rain boot to help moms save a few thousand pennies. If my evil genius really kicks into high gear in the lab tonight, I may even make them stretchable up to three sizes because I believe that shoes should fit children for at least 11 minutes from date of purchase.

Every morning I turn this:

Every single morning

Into this:

Thank you Tangle Spray

I frequently let Magoo walk down the stairs all by himself at the speed of a mollusk.

After Easter dinner, Laylee whispered to me that she loves Jesus, me, corn, and the Easter Bunny the best because we're all true.

I have convinced my 2-year-old son that the keys to happiness in life are shoes, Chapstick, and rich creamy milk "chock-ick."

I helped make these...from SCRATCH!


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