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'Tis the Season

Well, cold and flu season has struck the Glozman household early this year. Last week, Lucas came down with his first cold of the 2006-2007 season, and it has been a doozey. I took him to the pediatrician's office over the weekend only for her to confirm what was already obvious: "Lucas has a ton of mucus!" He also had a raging fever that lasted two days and snot like the Energizer Bunny — it keeps coming and coming. If you have figured out how to explain to a 2 ½ year old the concept of spitting out the phlegm to avoid gagging on it, please do email me immediately.

I was hoping that my super-powered booby juice would spare Justin, but I was sorely mistaken. He came down with the same exact symptoms by the end of the weekend, even though I tried to keep the boys away from each other (I would have sent Justin to a different zip code if I could have). I went through a jar of Purell on Saturday alone trying not to infect Justin. But it is virtually impossible to keep the snot and slobber of a toddler at bay.

I know the exact moment Lucas contaminated Justin. Justin was practicing his new skill — sitting up — and Lucas was walking across the room. Suddenly, Lucas stopped and let out a phenomenally large sneeze right in Justin's direction. Like a scene from the Bionic Woman, I dove in slow motion in Justin's direction, screaming, "Nooooooooo!" and trying to shield him from the germs. But alas, I was too slow, and I could see Justin close his eyes and shake his head back as the germs landed on his precious, tiny face. His fate was sealed.

So, here's just a taste of what's been going on in my house: Every two minutes we commend Lucas when he covers his mouth during a cough to reinforce that good behavior. But then, there's the covering of the mouth when he sneezes — that's not going so well. We've also been trying to teach Lucas to blow his nose out while simultaneously keeping his mouth closed — another concept that's foreign to a toddler. My kitchen counter resembles that of a pharmacy, stocked with both infant's and children's formulas of multiple medicines. We have one for fevers, one for cough and congestion and another for nighttime cold symptoms. And because I have yet to find one brand that works as promised, I have multiple brands all alleging to do the same thing. I won't even go into the issue of trying to get Lucas to take medicine — it has become such an all-out battle that a neighbor thought we were doing him bodily harm and almost called the police. It's a battle that has resulted in Lucas gagging so profusely that he made himself vomit twice, all over both of us. Needless to say, we've switched our approach and are now surreptitiously adding his meds to flavored milk, preferably chocolate. The entire upstairs smells like a eucalyptus plant from the dual humidifiers with vapor I am running every night for both boys. And finally, between coughing fits and snotty spells, I don't recall the last two-hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep I've gotten.

With all of these bodily fluids making their way around my lovely home, you must be wondering how I have managed to stay strong and healthy. Well, I regret to inform you all that I am writing this post from my own sick bed. It sucks to have to take care of two very small, very sick children, but it especially sucks when you have to do so and are sick yourself.

May you all be spared snotties and slobber and have a healthy 2006-2007 winter season!