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Popisms, Volume III

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This just in: Last night, my boys put on berets and army fatigues, and overthrew the oppressive Leftovers Are A Cheap and Easy Meal Option Party...  I wish we lived in an alternate universe where Dora the Explorer discovered America and Christopher Columbus helped Boots locate the magical flute... Jackson asked if he could pretend to be a grown-up. I said yes. Move out... Are peanut butter and jelly married or in a civil union? Depends on which state you’re eating it in…. The three little pigs were three shoddy architects.... The wolf was obviously a two-pack-a-day guy. A house made of straw? Please…. Spring break + my 4yo’s short term memory = “Daddy, school is over for the year.”... A look through the baby photo album over the weekend inspired talk of having another child. Here’s how to avoid that conversation: Keep all the empty picture slots filled…. I’m looking for investors for an animated TV show about wealthy marsupials living on New York’s Upper East Side. “Gossip Squirrel.” Who’s in?... People who work at Moe’s Burritos must be really good at swaddling babies…. It takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow. I can’t believe it took a bag of Skittles to share that sentiment with my 6yo… I don't want to start a controversy here, but I believe in evolution. Exhibit A: Ed O'Neill on Married with Children, and Ed O'Neill in Modern Family... Joe Biden doesn’t have the world’s second hardest job. Fathers do…