I take issue with the term "mom-to-be." I don't know about you guys, but I feel like a mom already.
I worked so hard and subjected myself to so much (poking, prodding, drugs, needles, surgery, and heartache) just to conceive in the first place. And since I've been pregnant, every moment of every day is consumed with trying to do what's best for the two little lives inside of me and making preparations for their arrival — buying gear, taking classes, reading books, picking pediatricians, and calculating budgets.
Plus, we expectant mothers have to give up a lot: favorite foods, alcohol, back- and stomach-sleeping, cold medication (if you have the misfortune of getting sick while pregnant, trust me, this is a HUGE sacrifice), many types of exercise, perfect abs, and in my case, even sex (doctor's orders)!
So when I got overlooked this past Mother's Day, it felt like a great indignation to me.
It didn't to my wife. On Mother's Day, I wrote her a card telling her what a great mom I think she'd be and how excited I am to start our family together. I got her a fancy manicure at Bliss Spa to boot. She got me...nothing. In fact, she was a little freaked out that I acknowledged the day at all.
She comes from a very superstitious family, where you don't buy nursery furniture before the babies come and you definitely don't have a shower (though we're bucking both of those traditions). Their thinking is, the babies aren't here yet, so let's not do anything to jinx it.
It's a perfectly respectable stance. But I don't buy it. To me, the babies are here. They're alive and kicking (literally) — they just happen to be inside my belly still.
That day, I had to attend a Mother's Day celebration with her extended family and watch all the moms open cards and gifts, while I sulked over my cake, feeling left out. (Don't feel too bad for me: Eventually, my sweet wife succumbed to my guilt trip, buying me flowers and promising to treat me to a haircut at a posh salon.)
In the end, Mother's Day is only one special day. We pregnant mamas are lucky enough to get nine special months to figure out the kind of mothers we are, the kind we want to be, and to love our children more and more every day, even though we haven't seen them yet.