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Baby Gear: The Excess List

Photo Courtesy of SeenTVCanada.com

31w5d - I woke up with couch creases on my cheek and Samoa crumbs stuck to my jaw two twilights ago to some hack booming MAKE FRESH, ORGANIC, NUTRIENT-RICH BABY FOOD IN AN INSTANT!! And there went my shut-eye for the rest of the night.

I finished watching the infomercial for the Baby Bullet (or thought I had, until the poorly scripted baby shower charade they were using to hawk the smiley baby food blender continued to loop, LOST-like for perhaps another 30 minutes) and took to the Internets. I had recently stripped our baby registry of the Beaba Babycook food steamer-masher after friends gave it a lukewarm review and had since been looking for a potential (less pricey) replacement puree-er. Was it possible that this grinning countertop auto-grinder could fit the bill, solving all the potential kid-feeding problems we were clearly destined to have, as recounted by a bunch of actresses (creepily) pretending to hold infants?

Erm, no. 

I've mentioned that I'm a sucker for marketing ploys: Pop in a couple resonant buzz-phrases—BPA-free! All-in-one!—and you've got my attention. But what doesn't fly for me in a baby product, in particular, is its clear demarcation of being a baby product, for one. I don't know which Very Clever Marketer thought that slapping a smile insignia on literally every piece of this pastel plastic system was going to sell it better, but that face paired with the word "bullet" sure doesn't make me reach for my Visa. Also, to be clear, the Baby Bullet falls into the single-use-cooking-appliance category that The Mister and I try to avoid at any cost, lest our tiny kitchen become overrun with mango pitters and quesadilla makers and margarita blenders.

Besides, parenting seems to come with it a bevy of warranted short-term-use gear—ephemeral newborn diapers and infant car seats and rash creams and teething things—such that limiting the amount of stuff with short shelf lives, if you will, is warranted if you don't want to be broke and tripping over yet another Baby Blend Date-Dial Storage Cup in a year from now.

But! But: The Baby Bullet only uses the freshest, healthiest ingredients for this 6-second mango and banana puree, with no added sugars or fillers—now THAT'S organic!

Uh, so I *can't* use it to make spikey frozen lemonades later this summer? Or grind chickpeas into hummus, or obliterate stale bread heels? Oh, that's what the Baby's big brother, the Magic Bullet, is for? 

In that case, we may have found our multi-purpose, all-in-one blender/baby food maker after all! (Just check out the first FAQ: Why does everything I chop turn into mush?)

Now I ask you, esteemed parents who've triumphantly slogged through the stuff-overload process: What other baby gear is moot? Which sorts of products—bottle warmers? Baby bathtubs?—might a space- and cost-conscious new family skip altogether?

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