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“Morning Sickness” (with Air Quotes)


Almost as soon as I got the good news of my pregnancy—actually sooner—the symptoms kicked in, hard. But I made a vow to myself that no matter how awful I felt, if I had the good fortune of getting pregnant again I would not complain about it. Not after everything I've been through.

Well, that lasted for all of…okay, it didn’t. I lied.

For the record, it doesn't mean I'm not extremely grateful for this blessing, but what can I say? When you’re sick, you’re sick. And oh boy (or girl), am I sick this time. I’m 13 weeks pregnant as I type this, and just as sick as I was the day after hearing the news. I haven’t thrown up yet, but I came very close yesterday at work, during The Most Embarrassing Thing That’s Ever Happened to Me—I started gagging at my desk after trying to eat McDonald's for lunch, and then (pardon me) burped, rather loudly. Yes, like a pig. A pregnant pig. My office is pretty quiet—and big—with zero privacy. The woman that sits next to me was almost as mortified as I was…as I went darting off to the bathroom.

I feel like a walking cliché of a sick pregnant woman whose body isn’t her own anymore. Did I mention I’m only 13 weeks pregnant?

I know it has long been determined that “morning sickness” is a misnomer and it’s really all day and night sickness, so I’d just like to weigh in about that: Who the hell coined the term!? It’s misleading! I go to bed sick, wake up sick, and everything in between sick. Food does not make me feel better, either—the scale was moving in the wrong direction at my last OB appointment because I can hardly stomach anything other than a toasted bagel with butter.

I wasn’t nearly this sick with Preston—I had such an easy, uneventful pregnancy, other than developing marginal placenta previa, for which I had no symptoms (but still required that I deliver via C-section). In fact, I loved being pregnant—I loved getting to eat whatever I wanted; loved feeling the baby move; loved the growing belly, all of it. I felt pretty great during my pregnancy the last time. I’m holding onto all those awesome feelings, hoping that they’ll come back, ya know, any day now…

It wasn’t all smooth sailing though—I remember getting hormone-induced headaches, but they went away the minute I entered my second trimester, practically overnight. No such luck this time. What I can’t seem to figure out is, how do you gracefully juggle the constant debilitating nausea with raising a toddler and working full time, and still taking care of all the things you need to take care of in your life? Somehow I’m doing it, but I would not call it anything resembling graceful (grocery shopping, for example, is a total disaster). My poor husband has had to pick up a lot of my slack lately—but I think I’m running out of “morning sickness” cards, and we’re not even half-way there yet.

Any tricks up your sleeve for managing “morning sickness” that lasts all day, every day? How’d you get through it, without letting everything else in your life fall apart?

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