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Suddenly Scared

I know I was just floating on air a minute ago, but all of I sudden I'm freaking out. This is going to be a HUGE responsibility.

I realize that this shouldn't be news to me, and it's not. In fact, for a long time, I've actually had a mental list of all the things I figured I'd deal with and worry about once I got pregnant. But now, that time is here! I'm pregnant, and I'm worrying.

The list of things I need to take care of is flooding my brain: get life insurance; make a will (oh yeah, and find a lawyer to do all that); pick a pediatrician; find a doula; locate organic nectarines near my apartment; figure out if I want to do Lamaze, the Bradley Method or Hypnobirthing; register for a first aid class; find out if the chemicals in my shampoo and sunscreen are safe; decide which stroller to get, which crib, etc....the list goes on and on. And did I mention that we've been planning to move to Hoboken, New Jersey in November (we need more space) and we have to decide if we're going to keep renting or if it's time to buy? Oh, and our wedding album and video — they're STILL not done more than a year after the wedding. That needs to get done before I have this baby!

I haven't been able to fall asleep for the past few nights. My husband, my mom, and my sister-in-law have all been very reassuring, but oh my gosh, I've suddenly got a lot on my plate!

I know that the best thing for a healthy pregnancy and baby is to be calm and happy and blah, blah, blah, but how can I not worry about all this stuff I need to do now? Every mom-to-be gets a little freaked out about this enormous responsibility, right? I'm hoping this is normal.

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