You are here

Of Baby-Gender Dread, and Flame Wars

You can't tell me that during your pregnancies you never thought, "Gee, I'd really love a girl." Or maybe, for you, it was a boy.  (For me, it was a girl.) Apparently a lot of moms don’t feel this way -- or can’t admit it -- and are furious that someone else does. When we published Baby Boy Crazy by Amy Wilson, who definitely thought she wanted a third boy,  it got picked up all over the blogosphere. And the commenters went nuts.

Here’s a tiny excerpt from her story:

"I could handle boys, with their cut-and-dried needs, but girls were so much more complicated. Girls have elaborate hairstyling requirements. They whine and mope, manipulate and triangulate. How was I going to deal with that?”

And here’s what the commenters on said:

"Wow, instead of being so grateful to be pregnant you actually took the time to write this stereotypical drivel?" —Joan

"I would be ecstatic no matter what the sex. Do you realize how blessed you are to even be able to get pregnant in the first place?” —Lynette

"As the mother of three spunky, zesty, full-of-life daughters, I absolutely HATE this very common comment about girls: that they are quiet and easy. Really? My three are anything but. I am raising them to hopefully be strong, secure women."  —Stefunny

Amy’s happy ending: she adores her daughter now that she has her (of course!). And we give her a big shout out for being so frank about her apprehension, which is actually pretty common.

You can read tons of other comments here:

CNN Living: Why I Didn’t Want a Girl
New York’s Motherlode: Wanting, and Not Wanting, a Girl
Babble: Don’t Ask if We’re Trying to Have a Boy… or a Girl
Salon: Bad Mommy? Bad Society!
Jezebel: This Mom: Brave Enough To Admit She Wanted A Boy, Not A Girl
Amy's blog post: The Amazing Reach of

And tell us what you think! Did you want a boy or a girl more? Would you change if you could? Do you think it’s horrible to even admit to having a preference?