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Christmas Shopping Desperation

NikkiM's family

My mom, like all moms, sweetly claims that all she wants for Christmas is to have me home. I won't pause to recount how I know that's not true. But shopping for her is hard. Mom is very Spartan. She proudly turns her nose up at frivolities like sweets and jewelry and never, ever, mention a "spa day" to her.

Gifts I have given my mom that were successful:
1. A vase and flowers made of beads that I actually bought for my 11-year old cousin.
2. One, and only one, perfunctory scented candle every year that she uses to chase out weird smells in the kitchen after my brother makes his midnight snack.

I'm desperate for ideas. My dad is no help. He likes to give Mom nice watches she doesn't need and grouses about how annoying it is that she would prefer it if he made her a "diorama out of a cardboard box." I know my mom deserves better than a glue-soaked card with "I love you" scrawled on it (although one year I did make a pretty decent Rachael Ray themed Mother's Day card), and I know she wants something more thoughtful than a sweater.

The clock is ticking...Please, suggestions?