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Parenting's Top Ten: Oscars You Ought to Win

Music (original score)

...for teaching your kids to sing the real version of "Jingle Bells," not the one where Batman smells and Robin lays an egg

Best Director

...for organizing a monthlong PTA fund-raiser that actually raised funds -- slacker parents and the recession be damned

Makeup

...for applying enough under-eye concealer to avoid looking like the Crypt Keeper after a sleepless night tending a croupy kid

Art Direction

...for getting the kids to make a "Welcome Grandma" banner without a single fight breaking out over using the red crayon

Best Supporting Actress

...for sitting on the bleachers every Saturday, just to cheer like crazy for the seven minutes your son makes it onto the soccer field

Sound Mixing

...for talking loudly enough that your tween actually heard you over his iPod -- and, in fact, listened to what you had to say

Sound Editing

...for stealthily removing the Care Bear's batteries, then telling your son that Tenderheart lost his voice and needs to rest for a day

Costume Design

...for the Hannah Montana getup you made your daughter from a mop head and cheap jewelry minutes before the Halloween parade

Cinematography

...for capturing five full minutes of your family on video during which no child sticks a finger up his nose or crosses his eyes

Picture of the Year

...for the one you snapped of your husband and kids -- the one that reminds you why, craziness aside, this is the happiest time of your life

from the March issue of Parenting

Plus:

Top Ten Ways Motherhood Makes You a Celebrity

Top Ten Things You Just Can't Believe You Said

Top Ten Summer Head-Scratchers

 

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