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A conclusion

I've been meaning to write sooner this week, but to be honest, I've been too embarrassed. Why? Oh, because after my last heady post where I reveled in my take-charge-iveness and so boldly claimed that a second-date plan with P was imminent, nothing happened. I sent him my possible opportunities (too many!) as requested and nothing. No, "Ok, I'll get back as soon as I can." No, "I can't do this or that, but..." I was confused. Why didn't he at least say something? Why was he leaving me hanging?  I fretted over my over-availability. I was pissed I didn't follow my ABCs. By the next night, I broke down and checked in. I kept it light but also said I sucked at playing it cool and to just keep me posted. Again, he responded right away. He was sorry...just waiting to hear on his work schedule. Then a follow-up that things just kept changing and he'd stay in touch. Now I really should know that he couldn't have known that my idea of keeping one posted means checking in w/an update every couple of days. I don't think that's particularly unusual (at least according to the vast poll I conducted among my friends). But by last Wednesday—a full six days after last contact—after the pining turned to annoyance—and after a friend finally bluntly told me, "Dude, he's seriously not that into you"— I decided to end the waiting once and for all. I sent one last text: I said to be safe, take care, and you know where to find me if your scheduled lightens up or you change your mind. I felt immediately relieved. And then about 15 minutes later he responded with an apology and a possible date. WTF?? Now I was really confused.  So I waited until the next afternoon to respond. His day didn't gel with my schedule but I told him I had time over the weekend. Turns out he did, too. We agreed to play it by ear. Redeemed! Doesn't get much cooler than playing it be ear, right? I'd made plans with my friend J for dinner and drinks Saturday and had no intention of canceling. She was cool with inviting him to join us later, so that's what I offered. He accepted. Now, you can probably guess what happened next. Around 11:30 p.m. I get a text from him saying he had bad news. About an hour later he sends the details: Called into work. Again. He's so sorry. He asks for forgiveness. 90 minutes later, I respond, that yes, it sucks. let me know when you can hang out. And then I turn my attention back to the guy chatting me up.

And, that dear readers, is the last of my obsession with P. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed when he said he wasn't coming (I mean, I had taken care to prepare!), but I still had a great night with a great friend. And this time, I feel totally at peace at letting this go for awhile. Should he get back in touch, you know I'll make the effort again. But as my wise friend J put it, I've done enough reaching out. It may not be his fault that he's at the mercy of his work (and for the record, I really don't get the sense that he's lying) but I certainly don't want to be. Plus, there's newP to think about. He's a dad. We've had long and interesting emails over the last couple of weeks. And we're meeting on Friday. A new adventure awaits! xox, Evie

 

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