Sorry for the long silence, everyone. My time-management skills have taken a serious slide the last couple of weeks, thanks to a ridiculous schedule at work, bad weather and general nonsense, like my car battery dying during the blizzard. Usually I snap to the busier things get, but this time my stamina flagged. Maybe it's because I ran out of my meds and couldn't get it refilled for like four days. Or maybe I just needed to be a littler slackerish. Don't know. Anyway, i DO plan to make this the longest break I take (barring a break for a GOOD reason, like a real vacation!).
A few updates:
As you know from my last post, I decided to dip a toe into online dating. So now I'm an official member of Chemistry.com, which is basically just like E-harmony w/out the preachiness. It's been about two weeks, and the first few days I was too nervous to do anything except look and reject. Each time I got a "So and So is interested in you!" email, I panicked. Know why? Because I HAVE NEVER DATED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I have no idea what to do or what to say or what to wear. God help me when it's time to actually meet someone in person. Or rather, god help him! The thing that I like about this service is that it's controlled and slow. Just the thing for right now. I've responded to a couple of intriguing men, so I'll keep you posted on what happens.
The other big news: We would have been together for 20 years this weekend. Twenty years. I'd always imagined that this is the year we'd do a big trip to celebrate. Maybe go to Europe, since he's never been and I haven't been back since college. Maybe I'll still try to go. We saw each other that day and neither of us acknowledged it, even though I know he knew. We celebrated this anniversary pretty religiously until about two years ago (surprise). I spent most of the day thinking about the day we finally decided to "go out." We'd been friends for a few months, spent lots of time together, and then one day sat for about four hours in his red blazer deciding whether we should be more. Two of those hours we literally sat in my parents driveway. I'm sure they were dying. I don't remember how we ultimately decided to go for it, but I remember the elation. He didn't kiss me then. That wouldn't happen for a few more days until we were at a party and snuck up to someone's bedroom. Those kisses were delicious. Unstoppable. I wish I'd known that the last real kiss he gave me would be the final one. I would have paid more attention, lingered longer.