I admit it, I was a sucker for those damn E-Harmony commercials. The personality matching. The couples giggling and kissing and looking so perfect for each other. Why the hell not? I registered. I should have stopped as soon as I realized there were no options for people seeking matches of the same sex. That bothered me a lot. But then I saw another commercial and forged ahead with the quiz. (I use that term loosely given that it took me two nights to actually finish.) The only thing that kept me going was knowing that at the end, I'd be presented with a slew of potential matches-made-in-cyberheaven. But oh no. Not for me. Here's the message that popped up:
Your account status currently indicates that you are married.
If you are recently divorced, please click here to contact our Customer Care team.
Um, EXCUSE ME???? Just because I was honest and clicked "separated" on the relationship status question (which by the way is ONE OF THE FIRST QUESTIONS), you've decided that I'm not allowed to look for someone to share some much-needed happiness with? Fine. I get you're private company and can promote whatever so-called values you want, but if you're not going to be inclusive, then just be UP FRONT about your judgeyness. Don't make people spend an insane amount of time doing your test only to tell them, sorry, no dates for you. Here's a tagline you can consider: E-Harmony: For undeniably single or divorced heterosexuals only. Good luck to the rest of you sinners.
Match.com, here I come!