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Mom Facebook Statuses I Love


Is there anything better than laughing out loud at someone’s parenting-themed FB status? It's far better than cringing when they talk about, say, their kid's poop progress or how little sleep they get or _____ (fill in the blank with whatever parenting cliche bothers you the most). Sure, there are times when other parents' facebook musings can make us feel bad (like when I see museum-quality artwork done by five year olds and can't help compare it to this), but other times, it's just what the doctor ordered. Smart, witty, I've-so-been-there posts that make us smile, laugh and nod in agreement about the way others approach this whole parenthood thing. Here are some recent updates that I liked—a lot. 


Amanda Hinnant
My first grader learned the word "irony" today in class. Somewhere, Alanis Morissette weeps into her Chardonnay. 


Christi Pavlis Wampler
Simon's teachers told me "he's definitely his own little boy!" I think we can all read between the lines on that one.


Catherine Merciez
Owen is in this phase that when I tell him I will not buy him a toy, he gives me this knowing expression and says "Oh. You don't have any money do you." Not a question, but a statement. I'm not gonna lie, it's kinda pissing me off.


Ellen Seidman
Our nanny's new cell phone ring tone is Bad To The Bone. Hmmm.


Amanda Hertig Cullinan
I just went from the best mom in the world, to the worst mom and back to the best mom in under a minute flat. That's a new personal record, right on!


Nora Weber
i realize it's completely ridiculous and that someone should call the whaaaambulance on me, but i feel like i deserve an award for cleaning the entire house with two toddlers underfoot.


Christi Pavlis Wampler
I just attempted to rearrange our new sectional in our living room and determined that I more than likely have a really strong learning disability.


Jp Pagan 
If you have children, you're supposed to be a responsible adult and not, like, drink yourself to sleep. On the other hand, you know, you have kids. It's a catch-22.


Erin Anderen-Aebisher
Embarrassing moment of the day....brought Griffin for his 15 month wellness check-up except he is 14 months. Poor second child!


Amanda Hinnant 
Apparently, Helen has been mortified to tell classmates what Pirate's Booty is. Damn you, yuppie junk food!


Marcy Beller Paul
I asked Alex where her princesses were going. She said to the ball. I asked if they were going to dance. She said no, they're going to score goals. It's a soccer ball.


Julie Klam
I am not going to be 50 for 5 years, but I don't know how I'm supposed to resist the free insulated bag that comes with joining AARP. I'm only human!


Marisa Cohen
Molly just asked what's the difference between a toaster oven and a microwave. I said, "One browns things, the other zaps them." Jeremy rolled his eyes at me and is now five minutes into an explanation of frequencies and vibrations and heating elements. Hmph, I liked my answer better.


Amanda Hinnant 
My 7-year-old just invented a drinking game at dinner. This does not bode well. 


You’ll notice there’s one dad, there’s one that has nothing to do with kids but is just funny (thanks, Julie!) and one about the cute thing her kid said because, as a soccer fan and a princess phobe, I freaking loved it. Even posts about cleaning can fascinate (whaaambulance? Best word ever!). There are also some repeat offenders, who have just been on their update game lately. Thanks, all, for brightening my newsfeed and my days! Anyone else have a great update they've seen lately? Share it here. And read more funny mom updates here and here.