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Immature Mom Moments

Erin Zammett Ruddy

Five inappropriate things I was thinking at Alex’s kindergarten orientation.


Last night Nick and I attended Alex’s kindergarten orientation at the school he’ll be heading to in the fall. As the teachers spoke about what to expect, I wasn’t thinking about how crazy it is that we have an almost five year old or how cool it is that he’s going to be part of this fantastic school community. I was thinking this:


We are so much younger than most of these parents.

Actually, Nick whispered this to me and I thought that for a second, too. But then I looked around and I had to correct him. We are not, in fact, that young anymore. We feel young, we feel like we’re playing house sometimes, but, 33 and 34 doesn’t exactly make us Teen Mom and Dad.


I wonder which of these people we’re going to be friends with.

As the teachers were talking about math stations and art projects and “literacy” I zoned out and scanned the crowd for people who looked like people I’d be friends with. And, even more wrong, people who looked like people I wouldn’t be friends with (like the couple a few rows ahead of us who had their arms around each other the whole night, and then held hands while we took the tour).  


Should I have a dirty martini or just a glass of wine?

In typical Erin and Nick fashion, we turned the night into a dinner/drinks opportunity and had the babysitter stay so we could grab a bite to eat after orientation. And because I was hungry (and thirsty), while the school psychologist was talking about the importance of parent involvement, I was deciding between the seared scallops over duck risotto or the linguini with clams (I went with the former—yum).


I could rock the PTA.  

At the end of the presentations the president of the PTA got up and, well, I’m still on the fence about how involved I want to be in the PTA, but the Claire Dunphy part of me wants to take this woman down.


Wow, Alex can’t write for $#^&!#!

We looked around one of the kindergarten classrooms and the kid projects hanging on the walls had full sentences written on them. Sentences I could read. I almost snapped a photo I was so impressed. Am I a little worried about Alex’s lack of writing skills? Yes. Am I going to spend the summer making him practice every day? Doubtful. After all, that’s what kindergarten is for, right?  


We lingered in the classroom for a few more minutes, just so we wouldn’t be the first couple to leave. Then we bailed. Bottom line: I think Alex is ready for kindergarten I’m just not sure his parents are mature enough yet.