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With kids comes stuff, but this silly and unnecessary kid gear is a total waste of your money.
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Jill and Joey
An expectant mom wears the Kickbee band around her belly. When the vibration sensors detect the baby kicking, the device can send a tweet. It's meant to be a way to keep the mom's partner, family and friends involved and up to date when they can't be physically near. Cute in theory, Twitter trolling in practice.
It's a purse. It's a flier. No, it's your baby hanging from the side of a public bathroom stall! Yes, setting your precious cargo on the floor of a bathroom is germy and undesirable. But we're thinking you'll probaly enjoy more peace of mind if baby is safely in a stroller or car seat, or even awkwardly astride one knee.
Sometimes your toddler can't see over the heads in a crowd. We're thinking a classic piggyback ride is solution enough. Paying for a modified piggyback ride is beyond our list of reasonable expenses.
Short answer: No. Long answer: No, because babies wearing shoes before they can walk is already silly, and heels are just unnecessary. Heels are a bit torturous when you're old enough to wear them; let's not start the habit just yet.
Just like they can't appreciate high heels, they can't use soccer cleats, either. The world may have gone World Cup crazy this year, but that doesn't need to be reflected in baby's footwear.
As babies do, your child is crying again. What could it be? This fun little gadget says it can tell you why baby is crying. Seems like it's a tool that will be best used in the teen years, since it breaks categories down as bored, sleepy, hungry, annoyed or stressed.
Cleaning up after a meal can be a hassle—but, really? Why don't they just take the jump and make it in the shape of a ski mask to save us all the time and pain of washing their faces off, too.
The Moo Mixer mixes your milk for you. Back in the day, moms and kids had to mix chocolate milk by hand. You had to look at the bottom of a glass to make sure no chocolate was stuck. It was a strenuous activity akin to churning butter, but by golly they did it.
For the tech-loving tot, here's an iPotty, a convenient way to play on the iPad and potty train at the same time! We're thinking toddlers can wait to multitask for a few years more at least.
Public bathrooms can be germ-filled, but we find it even less appealing to have our children pee on our hands while they try to aim into a bottle.
My Carry Potty
Continuing on the traveling potty trend: My Carry Potty. Yes, you can take your potty training toilet with you wherever you go! The best part: For those who prefer a posh and pretty potty, they can request a My Carry Potty covered in Swarovski crystals.
Perfume for Babies
Brands like Dolce & Gabana and Burberry have even jumped on this bandwagon. A perfume for baby, because even infants need scents for every mood and occasion.
Bikinis for babies. Be sure to untie the shoulder straps if you're worried about tan lines getting in the way of her summer glow. Oh, wait, that's ridiculous, just like a baby wearing a string bikini. That will definitely be able to accommodate her swim diaper.
Who has time to clean the floors when you're chasing a crawling baby around the house? Well, baby does if he is wearing a baby mop. Is it taking fair advantage of an opportunity? Yes. Is it creating a germ magnet for baby to wear? Also, yes.
Crawlings Knee Pads
Crawling is tough work, but their tiny knees will toughen up quickly. If you're really worried about it, cut the ends off an old pair of tube socks and slide those over their knees instead.