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Wrinkles the Clown Will Scare Your Kids Straight—for a Fee

The Short of It

Wrinkles the clown is keen to help you scare your misbehaving kids, if you have the cash...and aren't terrified of clowns yourself!

The Lowdown

A Florida military veteran who took up clowning around in retirement and goes by the name "Wrinkles" is apparently growing in popularity. If you happen to be in Naples, just look for an aging man in a polka dot suit and a creepy face mask holding balloons. The 65-year-old is available for hire for "a few hundred bucks" and is more than willing to scare your kids into behaving.

One mom recently used Wrinkles to teach her naughty 12-year-old son a lesson. Wrinkles recalls: "He was scared of clowns, and I showed up across the street from him at the bus stop, and he just started crying in front of his friends and ran home. His mother called back a few days later and said, 'Thank you!' Now when he acts bad, she just has to ask him: 'Do you want Wrinkles to come back?'"

Yes, really.

Don't think too many people get the joke? Think again. Wrinkles says he gets hundreds of calls...a day! And he has become very popular on social media, where people post photos of Wrinkles sitings with the hashtag #WrinklesTheClown. He says some of the requests he receives are inappropriate in nature, which he turns down. But what is appropriate, in his view, is standing awkwardly in the corner at your kid's bat mitzvah.

The Upshot

Some parents may say this is a totally inappropriate way to discipline children. But Wrinkles says, "I'm just a good old-fashioned clown. When I was a kid, it was okay to scare kids and now they're all whiny and scared."

Okay, fine. It's kinda funny—but still totally inappropriate.

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