Neurons Not Included Gifts & Occasions

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Neurons Not Included
$15.00

So you know how attached Santa is to the elves. And you know he's got a ton of goodies in that bag he's lugging down the chimney. ...So if you were to arrange that one of his elves might be, um, detained for a bit, Ol' Saint Nick might be persuaded to... read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

While some may believe that joy and rapture comes from a beautiful work of art, or soaring music, or a snuggle with your beloved, ...the doctors and chemists of the world know that's not exactly the case. See, your brain is a lot more of a chemistry lab... read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

Good moms let you lick the beaters after whipping up the whipped cream. Great moms turn the beaters off first. Mainly because they... don't want to spray whipped cream all over the kitchen.Wait, you thought she turned them off for a different... read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

If you're just a little shy about expressing your affection, what better way to proclaim your undying love than with a Mediterrane...an staple and a female wool dispenser.Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole, and comes in a lovely black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree, pine cones, sugar cookies or anything else you see in the pictures other than the ornament and the ribbon. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

Murphy's Law was invented by lazy good-for-nothings as an excuse for sloppy work. There's no such thing as a rule that claims that... if anything can go wrong, it will. Skill, attention to detail and focused concentration will always result in delivery of flawless products and services.We feel so passionate about this that we've created the Murphy's Law Myth Christmas ornament, which clearly confirms that the alleged 'law' is nothing more than an urban legend. This ornament stands as a testament to how easy it is to overcome the mythical 'Murphy's Law.' Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole, and comes in a lovely black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree, pine cones, sugar cookies or anything else you see in the pictures other than the ornament and the ribbon. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

Good moms let you lick the beaters after whipping up the whipped cream. Great moms turn the beaters off first. Mainly because they... don't want to spray whipped cream all over the kitchen.Wait, you thought she turned them off for a different reason?Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole and black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

If you're one of those people who are passionate about the difference between 'affect' and 'effect', or cringe whenever you spot a... dangling participle, or know the difference between Calvary and cavalry, this is the Christmas ornament for you. Celebrate your role as a grammar enforcer with this Federal Bureau of Grammar Police ornament. Now get out there and start correcting! Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole, and comes in a lovely black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree, pine cones, sugar cookies or anything else you see in the pictures other than the ornament and the ribbon. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

Pity the poor unicorn. So many people seek this most enigmatic of creatures, sure that in some Enchanted Forest there dwells a col...ony of gentle one-horned steeds, brimming with magic and rainbows. The truth, unfortunately, is much more mundane. See, a fast food joint opened up in the outskirts of the Enchanted Forest, and the unicorns, having a pretty low strength of will, soon found themselves spending their time gorging on fries, shakes and other high-calorie meals. You know what happened then - the svelte coat and muscular frame was transformed through the miracle of saturated fats into a creature much less appealing.So here's a shout-out to our friends the over-weight unicorns. Let's cut them a little slack, OK? Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole, and comes in a lovely black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree, pine cones, sugar cookies or anything else you see in the pictures other than the ornament and the ribbon. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

Oh joy, another Christmas. Pardon us if we're not launched into spasms of rapture by the sight of inflatable Santas and middle-age...d women wearing reindeer antlers in their hair.Yet is seems a touch antisocial to be completely oblivious to the holiday. So Meh-ry Christmas. Can we cut to the eggnog now?Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole and black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

If Albert taught us nothing else, it is that everything must be viewed relative to something else. Worthiness for Christmas goodie...s included.Round Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 diameter, 1/4 inch thickIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole and black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

Sometimes fairy tales really do come true. This little Christmas Tree ornament celebrates your discovery of the prince or princess... that makes your particular tale one for the ages.Technical Data:Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole and black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

Math Find X Funny Christmas Tree OrnamentWe have never understood why math teachers are so fascinated by the letter X, when there ...are at least 25 other perfectly good letters they could use (even before resorting to the Greek alphabet). Neither have we understood why they are always losing X, nor why they seem to be incapable of finding it themselves and must resort to asking their students, who couldn't care less about the location of X or any other random letter. OK, teachers - here's X. Can we go now?Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole and black velvet gift/storage bagDoes not include tree. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

While some may believe that joy and rapture comes from a beautiful work of art, or soaring music, or a snuggle with your beloved, ...the doctors and chemists of the world know that's not exactly the case. See, your brain is a lot more of a chemistry lab that you might want to believe, and enjoyment is actually driven by a chemical cocktail of serotonin and dopamine. So while you may think you love Christmas, your brain loves serotonin and dopamine more. Given a choice, your noggin would rather take a dive into a hormone pool that drive around looking at Christmas lights.Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole, and comes in a lovely black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree, pine cones, sugar cookies or anything else you see in the pictures other than the ornament and the ribbon. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

There are a lot of mysterious things about Christmas. Like how does Santa drop off the gifts if there is no chimney for him to shi...mmy down? And what, exactly, is eggnog and why do we think it's a good idea to drink it? And what genius decided it was a good idea to string electrical lights all over the outside of our houses for three months (meaning the one month of December and the following two months it takes us to get around to taking them down)?So, in the spirit of mysteries, why not hang an ornament representing one of the great mysteries of math on your tree? This ornament lists the value of pi with enough precision to calculate launch trajectories. No Christmas tree should be without one! Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole, and comes in a lovely black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree, pine cones, sugar cookies or anything else you see in the pictures other than the ornament and the ribbon. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

So you know how attached Santa is to the elves. And you know he's got a ton of goodies in that bag he's lugging down the chimney. ...So if you were to arrange that one of his elves might be, um, detained for a bit, Ol' Saint Nick might be persuaded to leave the entire bag of aforementioned goodies in exchange for the return of aforementioned elf.Of course, you wouldn't want to hand-write the ransom note. You'd want to use the tried-and-true technique of cutting the words out of print publications. A lot like this.Note - if you're successful, we want a piece of the action. And we know where you live. Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole, and comes in a lovely black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree, pine cones, sugar cookies or anything else you see in the pictures other than the ornament and the ribbon. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

This is one of those cases where the misprint is probably more accurate than the intention. Ceramic ornament permanently printed w...ith non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole, and comes in a lovely black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree, pine cones, sugar cookies or anything else you see in the pictures other than the ornament and the ribbon. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more

Neurons Not Included
$15.00

No less a expert on humanity that Herr Dr. Sigmund Freud weighed in of the affection that humans have for cats. Time spent with ca...ts, he proclaimed, is never wasted.Of course, he never asked the cat.Technical Data:Ceramic ornament permanently printed with non-toxic inks2.85 inch diameterIncludes red satin ribbon for hanging on your tree, wreath, door or Festivus pole and black velvet storage bagDoes not include tree. We have to say that because someone actually thought the tree was included. Seriously. read more